Monday, January 23, 2006

So i couldnt sleep last night, which sucked cause i had to get up at 5:45 for work. Its partially my own fault though, i was trying not to think about everything between me and Micheal so hard that i just threw myself into my school work and studied untill i was too exhausted to study anymore then tried to sleep but my brain was in hyper mode adn all night i keep going over everything that i had been reading untill around 5:30 when i finally looked at the clock and told myself to shut up...do a good 15 min of sleep...if that counts at all.
Then work was going good, i was listening to my Ipod and focusing really hard so that i wouldnt think about Micheal when my phone rang, i looked down and there is was "Babe" on the caller ID. Yesterday i had broken down and called him buut he refused to see me so that we could talk so i just downloaded on him right there over the phone and asked him why he was acting the way he is, he couldnt tell me. he said he loved me but he didnt know if he wanted to be with me or not anymore, he wasnt sure if he was happy or not....it boiled down to he just didnt know....he barely talked at all durning the conversation though and i was getting really frustrated because it was making me feel like he just didnt care what he was doing to me, i told him this and he was like "why do you always think that i have the answers....i dont know hwat i want..." right after that i asked if he still loved me and he said yes...but that he didnt know if he wanted to be with me...like that love isnt enough, which i understand cause back after High School i loved him to death but i couldnt stay with him when he was hurting himself like that.
Well anyway he called me at work adn wanted to see me, but i dont get out of class till 1....he wasnt sure if he was going to want to see me after that....he was acting really weird, like changing his mind alot, right now i am supposed to call him in an hour when i am out of chem...but i'm really scared, i was happy when i looked at my phone and it was him cause i was liek "YES he cant live without me" but the way he acted when he was talking to me made me really nervouse and i felt sick the rest of the time i was at work, i still feel sick just thinking about it....like somthing bad is about to happen....

posted by Rachel_Bachert @ 1:33 PM

1 Comments:

At 4:12 AM, Blogger Evelyna said...

I feel all psychic, cause I know what happens after this blog, LOL! Only cause I called you tonight. :D Anyways, I'm glad it worked out okay, and if it didn't, you know the drill, i'm here for you and love you and seriously, feel free to call me anytime, etc. etc. :D (K)

 

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