Hunting Widow
Last night sucked. I miss Micheal so much. I dont remember hunting season being this hard last year, i think that it has something to do with the fact that last year he had a phone so i would at least get to hear his voice....oh and the fact that EVERYONE around me is so happy! GOD people you should be miserable with me...Just Joking. although i do wish people would stop getting married or announcing they are getting married or already are married for the next month....I'm averaging one person a day now. i feel like a mouse in a feild and all my buddies are being plucked up by hawks...soon i'll be the only one left! I've decided that i dont want to get married for a while but lately i cant help but wish i was the one annoucing that i was engaged... i mean some of my friends that are married or engaged havent even been dating the people they are about to spend the "rest of their live with" for much more than a year, and here i am with the same guy for the better part of 6 years.... i know that its dumb but i'm begining to wonder if Micheal will ever ask me for real to marry him, and dont any one say " well if you want to marry him why dont you ask him?" cause that is a loaded question....and besides all the other reasons i have not to do that Micheal has also informed me about a year ago that if i asked he would say no because he believes that the guy should be the one to ask. Also it is what it symbolizes and means to our relationship if he asks.... some people know what i am talking about if you know me and Micheal. we have an agreement......
posted by Rachel_Bachert @ 10:00 AM
3 Comments:
Hi Ak - well I do not know you but I can relate to you. I am exiting my first marriage and will not enter second marriage until my beloved proposes to me and I say yes. I married my first husband and will not marry my second husband. You are right to let him ask. And 6 years is a long time and you are patient. Far more patient than I, far far more patient. There is an article about love vs. Infatuation, and you definitely sound like you have love. I can send you the link if you like. You are a wise girl. I commend you. I was infatuated with my ex and the marriage fell apart. You can not build a marriage on infatuation. In fact, that is all I know, infatuation. You are good to be solid and steady with the same guy. Congratulations. I would not worry about what your friends are doing. If you love your beloved then if it is meant to be, it will be.
I know you said you didn't want anyone to comment on the last part, but I don't know if I can help it. You know me. I'm not going to "try to fix it" because I haven't done anything wrong. I do call you for hanging out with me. The only difference between before and now is that before I saw you EVERY day at work, and now I only see you when I call you. Sometimes things just happen, and aren't planned. Sometimes things are exclusive, and even then I have invited you (last night), but I refuse to feel bad about anything, because I haven't done anything wrong. I love you, and if you feel that I am neglecting you, call me. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
"thinking of the negative side" what negative side? I dont think that we are the best that we each could get, you can always find someone better (or at least they seem that way for a while) but its only because everything is peachy when you are "falling" in love.We are together because we survided the landing after we feel, because we love each other.
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