Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Look at me on a roll----three days in a row

So look at this i am post for the third day in a row.Micheal didnt call yesterday, kinda ticked me off so i finally called him at 11 when i was going to bed. He said that he was sorry and that he forgot to call me, all i could think was " forgot, or didnt want to"....He did want to get together tonight. Maybe this is all in my head and we are just both so busy lately.
but i keep thinking about how it used to be, when we werent so busy with other things and everything was so much easier...how could i have ever thought that things would get easier as we got older...
And i keep thinking/ wondering if he is ever gonna ask me to marry him, i mean its been almost 7 years now, three out of high school... i guess i'm wondering what it is that he knows that i havent figured out yet...cause thats how its alway been believe it or not. Micheal always seems to know things before me, like i was ready to jump into marriage right out of high school, btu he knew we werent ready, and i dont like the way he made me realize it but looking back he was right...but i'm almost done with college now, i'll be graduating in a year and a half most likely, so the tuition waver i get through my dad wont be an issue because i wont have my scholarship anymore and the waver ends when i get my bachlors cause its no good for masters degree classes. and i will have a beter paying job cause i can get paid to do my masters study... but honestly...i'm getting no vibe from Micheal that he wants to settle down...and the more i think about it the more frustrated i get, and scared knowing that i could love somone this much that i might be leaveing in the next two years...cause i'm begining to realize that marriage is important to me...I dotn just want to spend the rest of my life with someone no strings attached...is that so wrong?


At 8:14 PM, Blogger Evelyna said...

You worry too much Rachel. Everything is going to be okay. I'm sure of it. If you ever need someone to talk to, you should call me on my house phone, which you know I have. If I'm not at home when you call, I will call you back, esp if you leave a message. YOu can also always visit me at work.


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